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What can one person do? Part three

Kol Nidrei 2014

About 23 years ago, Alan and I and our then toddler Jacob attended the 60th birthday party of a good friend. After a few hours, as people began saying their goodbyes and leaving the party, we overheard our friend say “Oh, people are leaving. I guess that’s what’s happening now.” Just like that. No judgment, no sadness, no wishing for it to be otherwise. Just “Oh, I guess that’s what’s happening now.” Ever since then, that expression has been a guiding spiritual principle in our family (as well as, on occasion, a source of humor). Our good friend is now in his 80s, and he too continues to try to live by that principle, day by day. Whatever is happening now, that’s what’s happening. Wishing it were otherwise only causes suffering.

Of course, being human, we also experience the flip side of that guiding spiritual principle: Whatever is happening now… it could be better!

In the Jewish tradition we have a name for these paradoxical impulses: netsach and hod.