It happened again. Another zoom meeting in which I was close to tears of frustration but didn’t say anything. Another zoom meeting where I eventually sank into a trance of disconnection. What’s going on? I have been here before. Beneath the torrent of internal judgements of my own and other people’s habitual behaviors are the unmet needs that are alive in me: for connection, mutuality, consideration, effectiveness, creativity, fun, a sense of purpose. How might those needs be met in a zoom meeting? Well, we could adopt norms and practices to counterbalance the tendency for extroverts to speak up faster (and more often, and for longer) than introverts. We could ask each other “hey, what do you think?” or “I’m wondering how you are reacting to what I just said,” or “can we just check in about how everyone is feeling right now before we move on?” We could take turns. We could all take responsibility for the well being of the group as well as the agenda. We could lean in rather than check out. I could lean in rather than check out. It starts with me.